Ichi Pestano: December 2017

I was thinking of skipping this usual yearend post of mine because the thought of having to look back to the past twelve months is excruciating for me. I honestly don't want to reminisce what has happened, the good moments and the bad, because both would just lead me to misery. But I still wanna confront my emotions and face reality even if I know deep inside that doing this would just be a total torture. Besides, I could use a good cry as I wrap up 2017.

The year went by so fast. For a moment, I was wishing things could slow down a bit so I would be able catch up. And after reaching a crossroad, my life shifted and all it took was one decision that shook my world.

I still feel grateful nonetheless. Even if it seems like my 2017 hasn't been the best year and it's nothing like the past one where a lot of things took me by surprise, I still like to believe that life's lowest points are always the best trigger of self-growth.

So here's a recap of my year.

Amazing collabs...

In the first half of the year, my hard work kinda paid off and I was able to gain the trust of these amazing online beauty sources.

I teamed up with BeautyMNL as my first collaboration this year. In case you haven't seen the haul video, click here.

I also had a fairy godmother! Althea spoiled me with a total of 3 boxes.

I received a Beauty Box, a limited edition Birthday Box and they let me try their first ever product - the Petal Velvet Powder.

One unexpected email came in May and it's from a brand I've never thought of teaming up with.

Sephora surprised me with a highlighter shopping spree. Check out my haul/first impression video here.

Oh yes, I still owe you a throwdown post. 😊

Goodies from Celeteque also came to my doorstep. I was able to try their sun care line and of course, I brought all of them when I went to Boracay.

To all of the brands who showed trust, here's a BIG, FAT THANK YOU! 😘

I also appreciate the click of the share button, so thanks to the following for showing some love!

That one litty night...

Have you had an experience when you felt like you've just been the happiest person ever? I had mine back in January when I saw Jay Park in the effing flesh. And what made it like my "pwede na ko mamatay" moment was when I got the chance to hold his hand. Yeaaaaa! 😍

First official "get out of Manila" trip...

My year won't be complete without an escapade with my squad.

Last summer, we traveled to the north. Too bad, our plan to try strawberry-picking didn't happen. Blame the bad hangover. Haha!

Check out the blogpost here.

Back to the island...

We also had a taste of summer in July. Another crazy yet memorable trip with le familia.

And of course, my solo Bohol trip was one for the books.

We find ways...

I finally said goodbye to my dearest company after sometimes hellish, most of the time awesome, fulfilling 7 years. I admit that the first few months gave me a really hard time but there's no reason for me to regret it now, because saying yes to that job offer back in June paved way for new friendship. Thanks to them, the place feels so much better.

Strong not skinny...

A milestone happened in my pole journey.

I joined the recital and let me tell you, it was harder than I thought. But hell yea, it's worth it. I got so disappointed though, because I wasn't able to execute the routine properly. Nevertheless, it felt more like an achievement rather than a plain experience.

Inked...

Another tick off my bucket list - my first tattoo!

I wanted my first to be meaningful so I opted for Daddy Tor's handwriting. He didn't know that it's for my tattoo. I just asked him to write down the not-so unique quote that I thought of. Haha! 😆

For me, it's how I wanted him to be forever part of me. He's after all, my hero, my one true believer of my dreams.

If you're considering getting your first as well or getting another, I recommend Katz - @katzlorenzana.

I had my fair share or ups and downs this year and each has taught me a lesson.

Sacrifices tantamount to the love you give to the person you're making sacrifices for. The bigger the sacrifice, the greater the love you're letting yourself give away. And the more you do it, the more love that you are supposed to be giving yourself disappears. It slowly consumes you. It sucks you dry. I learned that each of us should set a limit and not forget that what's more important is self-love above everything else.

Not all love story has a happy ending. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship and for sure, everyone would agree to this. Just like the Maroon 5's song says, "it's not always rainbows and butterflies". No matter how deep and true the love is, it won't ever be just like how you imagined it to be. It won't ever be a fairy tale. I learned that sometimes you just have to pray for strength NOT for you to be able to beg that he'll fight for you til the end, but rather for you to be able to accept the fact that it's a never-ending, one-sided battle.

Sometimes you're the problem. It's not the situation. It's not even the people. You could be the one creating a drama that's not supposed to be there in the first place. I learned that your attitude towards the problem could sometimes be the REAL problem and looking at the bigger picture or maintaining a positive perspective would help big time.

Future isn't so scary after all. I'm already in a daunting phase of my life where I feel like I need to be more responsible. It's like bigger challenges are on their way and whenever I think of what could happen x years from now, I always freak out. That's until I wrote down my goals, big and small. Everytime I cross something out in the list, I always feel a bit relieved. I learned that you can plan and take control of your life. Things can turn out differently but that should not make you give up on your dreams.

Stay as long as you could and leave as soon as you should. It's tricky coz how the hell can we know WHEN, right? This year, I had to make two of the toughest decisions in my life. I admit that I have regrets and more could cross my mind later on. I learned that decisions, wrong or right could still lead you to where you want to be. And if you still got lost along the way, what's important is the character that you'll grow into and how you bounce back from every fall.

You are worth it. You, of all people should know what you truly deserve. No one is entitled to make you feel anything less of a person. I learned that we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves and settle for less just because of how people treat and think of us.

That's it.

To be honest, I wanted to hate 2017. It has been a bumpy ride and definitely a year that I would hate looking back to in the future. However, I know that hating it would do no good. It's better for me to be thankful for all of the blessings that came (asked and not asked), for the people who stayed, for the people who left and for the new awesome ones that came. It may not be the best year but it still turned me into the person I am today - still a work-in-progress but stronger. And I think that's good enough.

I'm not expecting anything in 2018 and frankly, I don't feel like I have reasons to be excited. I'll just focus on my goals and enjoy life. It should be that simple anyway, shouldn't it?

I wish you all the best! Cheers, good luck and dream on!

your sweetest drug,

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Here's another makeup with a packaging that I bet Sailormoon fans would be giddy over. It's not exactly themed but surely, "moon prism power" will pop into your head when you see and hold it.

It's a highlighter by Too Faced called Love Light Prismatic. See? The name is really fitting.

It comes in 3 shades and mine is in Blinded by Highlight, which is pearly white. The other two are called Ray of Light, a rose gold and You Light Up My Light, a gold color.

I can describe the formula as something on the powdery side. Compared to Becca pressed highlighter, it doesn't give that "wet to the touch" feel. It is somehow similar to my Sleek highlighter, only that one is dustier.

Using a brush to apply it will give a very subtle sheen, so to intensify, I use my finger. That could be a total no-no to the highlighter-obsessed because of course, they we always feel like you could never have too much glow on. Haha! 😛

It gives a slightly frosty beam, not so metallic and wet-looking but still pretty enough. I can see a bit of tiny glitters up close, but once it sets, the effect is more like "candlelight".

What's weird about this highlighter is how it seems to be more pigmented when swatched compared to actual application on the face. 😯

From totally flat to subtly glowy.

Another watch-out worth sharing is how it tends to emphasize the pores and roughness on the skin.

Is it worth the splurge? No. I mean, it's 1700 php (on Sephora) and I get it because it is from a high-end brand. For the price, you could buy a more intense highlighter. However, for someone who's scared of blinding highlight (and I honestly don't know if such person exists 😛) and prefer a really subtle glow-up, you know, a little something something on the face, this could work as your go-to highlighter.

So if you have extra money and you collect highlighters, go for it.

It's definitely hard to overdo your highlight with Love Light Prismatic. 😚

What do you think?

See this in action here.

your sweetest drug,

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Another year has seemingly passed in a blink of an eye. Can you believe that in just two weeks, 2017 will officially end? Hopefully, I would be able to do my usual yearend post while trying to cut down my backlog.

Anyhoo, here's one makeup product that has been in holygrail list of beauty fanatics since last year.

Now, the herb-like bottle might give a not-so good impression but wait til you try it. 😉

RCMA is not known for cutesy nor fancy packaging anyway since their main market are professional makeup artists. That kinda explains as well why this powder comes in this size. Actually, I don't know if I would be able to finish this up.

The brand also focuses on professional makeup for film, TV and theater. Plus, their products are so affordable.

First thing you need to know - it's translucent and totally matte. The powder is finely milled and soft to the touch.

If you're into the baking thing and you're a greasy gal, this could work perfectly for you.

I find that if I have this powder on even without having to "bake" my t-zone and under eyes, my face doesn't get too oily after several hours. I also love how it effectively blurs out the pores.

Some powders doesn't match well with foundation or concealer but this one is just awesome because it sets any makeup base I use.

It's not that lightweight compared to the other loose powders I have, but I still feel like my skin can breathe and it doesn't cause caking. I do get a bit of creasing on the under eyes though when I don't brush it off well.

The tricky and frustrating part is the messy application. I suggest you transfer a portion of it to a smaller container. It's also difficult to blend away, so what I do is, I use a dense brush instead of a fluffy one to brush the excess powder off.

Another watch-out is that, it tends to emphasize dryness a bit and since it's has a mattifying formula, it creates a totally flat canvass. That's a good thing for those who have oily skin, but for others on the drier side, this powder might need a little more work. Maybe consider applying a moisturizing primer instead of a mattifying one or just apply more highlighter to get some of the glow back.

My biggest concern about this product is the white cast. I became a victim when I used it on an event where I needed to take some photos with flash. Ugh. I looked like a ghost on every picture. 😞

Minus the epic fail on flash photography, I'm really loving this powder. I like the finish and how it keeps the grease at bay.

What do you think?

Btw, I got mine from Amazon.com for about 20 USD. Locally, you can check online resellers.

your sweetest drug,

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Have you ever felt broken and lost? Have you ever wondered how to survive a day when you're consistently trying to look for a part of yourself that drifted away. Have you ever battled with yourself at night convincing yourself to just fall into slumber even if the pain is just too much to bear.

The deep sorrow. The longingness. The endless questions. These and more, I had to endure while trying to pull myself together because after all, life goes on.

That's why I needed to go. I had to let it all sink in and for once, force myself to pick up the pieces and start over.

It was a spontaneous trip. I found out about this resort in Bohol from a friend and the homey, peaceful vibe was perfect for the breather I needed.

Momo Beach House is located in Panglao. It's less than an hour away from Tagbilaran airport. They offer transfer service (extra charge) so getting there was a breeze for me.

The moment I arrived, they made me feel at home instantly. They offered welcome drink and cookies.

The place has its own cafe. The food selection is a limited though and a bit expensive for one, so make sure to buy extra on the way.

They got homemade bath necessities too.

On the first night, I ate the most delicious sinigang (probably) I have ever tried.

I had a feeling that time was passing by slowly. I don't know. Maybe that's just how it is when you're at a state of solitude.

The following day, I went to Alona beach. Momo offers free transfer twice a day.

I didn't know what to expect, though I heard beaches in Bohol are also okay. I wanted to go for a dip but I couldn't leave my stuff. 😪

See? There are things that you just wouldn't be able to do when you're alone.

I spent the entire afternoon there and then went back to the resort to chill by the pool.

They even gave me postcards and banana bread. 😍

I'm not a morning person but I had to wake up early to enjoy my last few hours in the resort.

I loved the tranquil space and privacy that Momo offers. Not to mention, everyone was so accommodating and even a solo traveller like me would not likely encounter any problem staying.

Sure, it's hard to appreciate the beach but if all you need is a quiet, intimate moment alone or with your partner or family, this could be your hideaway.

And I have to give their food a big 👍 as well!

I already miss that shabby chic beach house. I went there without the assurance that I'd feel better and true enough, I'm still not totally okay and that, I'm not ashamed of admitting. However, the whole experience even though short, was something worth remembering - the blank stare at the wall, the bottles of beer, the silence so intense you could clearly hear your thoughts.

Like I said, I needed that time alone. Well, it's not really because I had to find that part of myself that the person took away with him, no matter how cliche that sounds. But I guess, I just needed to feel the emptiness to realize how much love I need to give back to myself.

So there, thank you, Momo for the worry-free stay. 💙

http://www.momobeachhouse.com/

Tel: +63 (2) 5539549, 8561443

E-mail: inquiries@momobeachhouse.com

your sweetest drug,